Do you ever find yourself struggling with confidence? Have you ever seen someone and you thought to yourself, “If I only had the confidence that they have, then I would be able to do xyz…?”
Brendon Burchard, the world’s leading high performance coach, a 3-time New York Times bestselling author, and one of the most-watched, quoted, and followed personal development trainers in history, states that confidence is fleeting if not generated. What that means, is confidence is something that you work on and you nurture, and if you don’t focus on confidence, it can start to fade. And in even simpler terms.. if you don’t use it, you lose it.
An article on Entrepreneur.com said, “no one is born with limitless self-confidence,” but we disagree.
We are all born with limitless self-confidence, but somewhere along the way we have a tendency to lose it. (Life happens – you get a bad review, someone bullies you, you go through a breakup, aka confidence depleters).
Think about a baby. Babies LOVE every part of themselves and they believe they are perfect. A little baby will walk right into a room, naked with a lil potbelly, and dance around with no doubt in their mind that they aren’t the greatest and funniest thing ever made. Babies are born with limitless self-confidence! YOU were born that way too.
Somewhere along the way, you started believing that parts of you were broken and other people were made better than you are. You learned to be less confident, and you learned that being less confident was safe.
The good news is that you can unlearn those habits and grow into a wildly confident person, because confidence is a learned habit. It’s something that can be cultivated and trained within you.
Are you ever afraid of being judged? Of speaking your truth? Are you ready to stop holding yourself back?
If you’re ready for the ultimate formula to start showing up as your most confident self in life AND business, keep reading! Becoming C.O.N.F.I.D.E.N.T goes like this:
Clean up your self image
Own your successes
Notice your body
Fix up your verbiage
Imagine your ideal life
Dress the part
Elevate your competence
Nurture your growth
Train your brain
It’s not the shortest acronym, but if you start living C.O.N.F.I.D.E.N.T, it will completely transform the way you view yourself and show up in the world. Let’s begin!
CLEAN UP YOUR SELF IMAGE
Whether you’re aware of it or not, you have a self-identity; a mental image and understanding of who you are. The way your life looks right now is a result of that image you hold in your mind; who you believe yourself to be, what you think you deserve, which capabilities and limitations you think you have. You cannot outperform this person, but you CAN upgrade the person that you see! Instead of focusing on who you are now, or who you have been in the past, it’s time to start actively thinking about who you want to become – because that person you create in your mind is the one who will get you the results you want in life!
Your assignment here is to start working with positive affirmations. That’s why you clicked onto this article in the first place, isn’t it?
Positive affirmations are thoughts that you consciously *choose* to think. They are thoughts you affirm to be true about yourself. To work with positive affirmations, you can read them, write them, listen to them on audio, or say them aloud. Consistency is key! You can skip down to your confidence affirmations below, or keep reading to understand how and why they work
The quality of your thoughts is important, because your thoughts are what create the results in your life. Repeated thoughts are what produce your mindset, your character, your feelings, and beliefs. If you want to be more confident, the first step is by taking control of your thoughts, and replacing negative beliefs or thought patterns with positive ones that serve and elevate you.
Your subconscious mind will believe anything that it’s told on repeat. That’s how you develop insecurities and low-self esteem in the first place! Remember our example earlier? Babies aren’t born feeling insecure. We lose confidence over time when external sources make us feel “less than.” Once these seeds of doubt and self-criticism are planted in our subconscious minds, they grow into negative thought patterns, which evolve into negative beliefs. We believe we are not enough, we believe we don’t deserve to feel confident, we believe that compared to others we are too much or too little _____ fill in the blank. Affirmations are how we uproot these weeds of the mind. Affirmations for confidence are how we rewire thought patterns and train our brains to work for us instead of against us.
Repeat daily until you feel the effects for yourself!
20 AFFIRMATIONS FOR CONFIDENCE
- I wake up with excitement and purpose.
- My confidence is rising and I love the person I’m becoming.
- I am realizing more and more how exceptional I am.
- I am capable, I am competent, and I am courageous.
- There is nobody else in the entire world exactly like me. There has never been and never will be ME again. I add something special to this world, just by being myself.
- I am electric.
- I am magentic.
- I embrace me, for all that I am. I acknowledge my self-worth and release the need to be perfect.
- I am beautiful and strong. I have overcome so much, and I have what it takes to THRIVE in any situation.
- Every day it’s becoming easier and more natural to exude confident energy.
- There is someone in the world who would LOVE to be me.
- I am bold, brave, and unafraid to be myself.
- I am authentic, unapologetic, and always speak my truth.
- I celebrate my achievements with gratitude and joy. I accept my flaws, because they add to my appeal.
- I trust in my ability to solve any problem and overcome any obstacle I encounter. I am unafraid of failure or messing up, because every single experience contributes to me in some positive, constructive way.
- My past has shaped me into something wonderful, and I harness the present to create my dream future.
- Every day I am growing in confidence. Every day my self-worth strengthens.
- Every day I take proactive steps to become the person I dream of becoming. Every day, I make myself proud.
- I am a great person!
- I deserve good things and I surround myself with positive people.
- Nobody is above or below me. I am above or below no one.
- I am evolving into something beautiful and remarkable.
- I am led by my passion and I am true to my heart.
- I listen and honor the callings of my soul.
- I am ready to hold my head up high and walk forward with confidence today.
Up next! OWN YOUR SUCCESS
It’s time for you to create and keep a “Win List.” It’s exactly as it sounds. A Win list is a list of your personal wins. They can be big victories or tiny triumphs. ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING you do well deserves to be acknowledged and documented!
Did a client give you really positive feedback today? Write it down!
Did you make dinner for your family and everyone loved it??
Did you do a great job on a project this week? Write it down!
Did you kick ass at your interview?
You might be thinking, why would I spend my time doing that? What’s the point of patting my own back?
It’s for the moments you feel insecure. It’s for the moments you’re about to devalue yourself, or when you catch yourself doubting your worth. Keeping a Win List provides the evidence that you are awesome, worthy, and you deserve to feel confident (even if you aren’t perfect!).
To have unshakable confidence, you have to know deep in your core, how wildly worthy and valuable you are. Having a list of wins is there to serve as your daily reminder, so that no matter what anyone else says or thinks about you, your self confidence doesn’t waver!
Decide where you want to keep your Win List and set it up. If you like old school writing with pen and paper, go buy a cute journal that will inspire you, write WIN LIST at the top of page 1, and put it on your nightstand. If you prefer using the Notes app on your phone, make a new folder RIGHT NOW and title it “WIN LIST.” Google Docs, Word, post-its in a shoebox, whiteboard on the wall, whatever floats your boat. Whatever you can access easily in times of need.
NOTICE YOUR BODY
It’s time to bring awareness to your body language. Poise, professionalism, and posture. Regardless of the industry you work in, you don’t see successful people slouch and hunch. Confident people don’t sit timidly or mumble. They stand up straight. Confidence is a combination of mindset and movement! Whether you’re an expert at the top of your game or taking the first step in your new career, portraying confidence on the outside will help you feel confident on the inside! Think of it as using your physiology to manipulate your psychology. IT WORKS. If your posture has become compromised from a sedentary lifestyle, start adding yoga, pilates, or daily stretching into your routine. Anything that will bring alignment back into your body, so you can stand up straight and tall.
FIX UP YOUR VERBIAGE
Verbiage is the language you use. It’s your personal word choice and vocabulary. Your language speaks volumes about who you are!
Notice the difference in these language tweaks:
Instead of saying this: “So um, does that make sense?” Say THIS: “I look forward to your hearing thoughts!”
Instead of saying this: “Is that ok with you?” Say THIS: “Please let me know if you have any questions.”
These are simple swaps that will change the game!
If you don’t sound sure of yourself, don’t expect anyone else feel sure about you either.
Remove “like, ums, just” from your vocabulary. They are not words that confident people use. And last but not least when it comes to verbiage; SPEAK SLOWLY. No one trusts a fast talker. If you are proud of the words you are speaking, you won’t rush through them. Give people the time to actually hear what you have to say.
Look in the mirror and practice speaking slowly. Imagine you are sharing an important story with a friend, perhaps you are having a consultation with a client, or maybe you have a meeting where you need to speak professionally and with ease. Have that conversation in the mirror with yourself (and bonus points if you record yourself to hear it back).
IMAGINE YOUR IDEAL LIFE
The most successful people in the world – CEO’s, athletes, celebrities, you name it- have all harnessed the power of visualization to achieve their goals. And guess what? You can too! Because confident people have self-awareness and direction. They know who they are, and they know where they’re going.
Set aside 30 minutes every day for Thinking Time. Take out your calendar pencil it in right now! Thinking time is when you sit in silence, by yourself, and reflect. Begin contemplating and answering these questions:
- What does the most confident version of yourself look like? How do you carry herself?
- Who do I want to be? Get a clear picture of the ideal version of you! (By the way, this is an ongoing process. Oprah STILL does this! It’s about constantly evolving and growing to become your own best self)
- What do you I want to experience in this lifetime?
- How much money do I want to make?
- What does my ideal lifestyle look like?
- What kind of impact do I want to have on the world? Where do I want to contribute my time, talent, energy, and expertise?
- How often do I want to work?
- Who are my ideal clients? What do they look like? What do they do for a living?
- Where do I want to live?
- What kind of relationships do I want to have?
- What does my love life feel like?
- What does my family look like?
- How do I want to show up on social media?
If you want to take it a step further, using Pinterest to create a visual representation of these answers is really fun!
DRESS THE PART
When you feel put together, you energy is different; and people are attracted to that energy! You’re more magnetic and have more credibility than if you’re wearing sweats, a top bun, yesterday’s makeup and chipped nail polish.
Dressing the part isn’t just about looking great, it’s about feeling great. And you don’t have to be into fashion or spend a lot of money to feel like a million bucks! You just need some staples that work for your style and body, and can be worn with different outfits. Determine what kind of outfits you feel the best in, and GET RID OF THE REST! There is no reason to hang onto clothes that make you feel (or look) dumpy, frumpy, or that you simply just never wear. Actually give yourself enough time to get dressed the part each day. You don’t have to spend 2 hours, but shower, groom yourself, put on something that you feel confident and comfortable in, fix your damn hair, and throw on some lipstick. You will be amazed at how confident you feel when you take a moment to look the part.
ELEVATE YOUR COMPETENCE
Whatever your profession is, you must be proactively learning, improving, and refining your skills every day! It’s the only way to stay relevant and confident about your capabilities, and what you bring to the table. Just 15 minutes of daily studying or practicing will keep your knowledge fresh, proficiency optimized, and confidence on the rise. Not only will it pay off in the long run, but it will bolster your esteem as a professional in the here and now.
NURTURE YOUR GROWTH
This is a little combination of everything we’ve talked about so far.
Nurturing your growth takes all aspects of personal development into account. Affirmations, visualization, mindset, movement, learning, and appearance. If you aren’t consciously nurturing your own growth- weeks, months, or even years can pass by without any real, tangible progress. You must continue to surround yourself and fill your mind with what you want to learn and become. Confidence comes from taking proactive steps towards fulfilling your potential. It comes from taking ownership over your life. Not from staying still, stuck, and stagnant.
Find mentors, experts, influencers, bloggers, books, youtube channels, etc that light up and educate you! Make a list and check what they share daily.
TRAIN YOUR BRAIN
The final step in becoming C.O.N.F.I.D.E.N.T. is making the decision to be more confident, starting now! I You don’t need a reason to start being more confident, because the truth is, there is someone in the world RIGHT NOW who would kill to be you. Who would LOVE to have everything you have. Who would think you’re insane for feeling insecure or small when you are YOU!
This is your CONFIDENCE routine. Follow it like you would a workout regime from a personal trainer. Repeat your confidence affirmations daily. Implement the action steps, be consistent, and watch your new, fully confident self emerge!
Be sure to follow our Affirmations on social media & podcast:
YouTube: Affirmation Babe
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