What’s up ladies.

Surprise! It’s time for some real talk again.

I feel like 2018 is the year of the empowered and liberated woman.

Don’t you agree?

Women are on the fucking rise.

Pardon my french, but there’s a feminine shift happening right now and it’s so incredible.

I want women to see the beauty in themselves just as they are right now!

I stepped way out of my comfort zone and booked a boudoir shoot with my friend and professional photographer, Natalie, a few months ago. Pre-baby this wouldn’t have been a big deal for me, but I still would have been very critical about my body (although I had no reason to be that way). Now things are a bit different. I still have baby weight on me (I hide it well, but it’s there), and my body isn’t as tight and toned as it used to be.

Years ago, I thought that if I ever had a baby, my body would be destroyed and I would be inevitably miserable. The truth is that, yes, my body is different, and yes I could be in better physical shape, but I am really happy with myself being ‘imperfect.” It’s interesting to say that my postpartum body is liberating AF. I feel like after having a baby, I’ve (mentally) grown into the woman I needed to be, and I feel the way I had always wanted to feel about myself; which is, content.

I feel like the longer I live, the more I have to celebrate – my body, achievements, my perfect imperfections, and motherhood!

I defined my boudoir shoot as confidence, sensuality, and feminine power.

This is a topic I have been dying to share with you.

Let’s talk about why you should book a boudoir photo shoot for yourself this year.

Sorry dudes, but this is not about you.

Let me clarify a few things first; there’s nothing wrong with doing a boudoir shoot or taking sexy pics for your partner, but how fucking liberating and beautiful would it be if you did it for YOU only?

I know we can come up with lots of excuses as to why we can’t take boudoir photos. I bet if I asked you don’t think you could do this for yourself, you may end up saying something like;

“I need to lose weight first.”

“I’m not sexy.”

“I don’t have any lingerie.”

“I’m not young enough to do that.”

“I’m not _____ enough.” <insert insecurity here>

Whatever it may be, I am here to tell you that all of those excuses are completely false.

You’re as beautiful, sexy, and fierce as the words you allow yourself to speak.

One thing I want women to stop doing is mentally beating themselves up and using negative words to describe themselves.

I used to be really guilty of this, and it’s SO crazy because I had nothing to complain about. Unfortunately I could easily and quickly find something about myself that “wasn’t good enough.”

I, like all of us, have insecurities, but what an unbelievable feeling to be able to break though them! I feel that a boudoir shoot is a fast track to loving your body, seeing the beauty in yourself, feeling confident, and embracing your sensuality. (Not that this post is about men, but DAMN, what if you showed up to your relationship with all that self-worth and confidence?! Whew, talk about being attractive to your partner!)

Let’s demystify some of the popular excuses to not do a boudoir shoot:

“I need to lose weight first.”

  • No you don’t need to lose weight first. A boudoir shoot is so much more than size of your body. It’s about capturing your natural beauty, your personality, your favorite features about yourself, or anything that makes you feel like you! Plus, let’s be honest, a professional photographer knows how to position your body in the most flattering angles, AND let’s remember you’re not doing a Hustler shoot – we aren’t going spread eagle here ladies. In my opinion, the photos that are sensual and sexually suggestive with beautiful clothing are the most flattering. Example; braless & cozy off the shoulder sweater portrait, or a long sheer robe full body photo.

“I’m not sexy.”

  • Stop. Yes you are honey. If you don’t think you are sexy, then just trust me, and book a boudoir shoot. Women are naturally sexy. You don’t need to know how to pose or be a fashion model to be and appear sexy. Again, a professional photographer knows how to coach you into feeling comfortable and into nice poses. Take this moment to step into your femininity! (Off the record, a shot of coconut vodka helps… Not that I did that or anything).

“I don’t have any lingerie.”

  • No lingerie, no problem! Boudoir shoots are enhanced by the accents and accessories. YOU are the main attraction. If lingerie isn’t your style, then wear what is your style… Perhaps a sexy black dress. Or like I mentioned earlier, cozy sweaters that #freethenipple + lace shorts are stunning for boudoir. A pretty bra + earrings + good hair make for a perfect shot.

“I’m not young enough to do that.”

  • Celebrate your years, and celebrate your womanhood. That’s what a boudoir shoot is all about! Believe me, when you’re 100 years old, you are going to look back on these boudoir photos taken when you were 50 and realize wha at a sexy look you had! It’s all relative, ladies. I truly think there’s a special confidence and sexiness about a woman who is older. It’s an energy and beauty that you cant teach or replicate. Start celebrating yourself!

“I’m not _____ enough.”

  • Whatever your insecurity is, don’t let it stop you from shining. The truth is that every single person in the world has insecurities, and even the people you think are so perfect and don’t have them, definitely do! Stop labeling how you’re created as imperfect.

Even if you still need a little more time to contemplate whether or not to do a boudoir shoot for yourself, I want you to promise yourself one thing…

Promise yourself, that you’ll use beautiful and positive words to describe yourself from this moment on. Turn your negative words into positive ones. I promise that you’ll be happier, more confident, and more beautiful.

boudoir photo shoot
Showing this photo as an example of how I showcased my assets (big hair, new make up who dis, & ta-tas) and hid other body parts that I preferred not be the feature of my image. (that’s a politically correct way to put it, right? lol) It all came together beautifully! I actually think portrait / beauty shots are more sensual and beautiful for boudoir photography. Show off your assets and don’t be afraid to shine!

Let me know your thoughts on this topic! Leave a comment below, and let’s chat.

Psssst… Below are a few of my favorite robes, and I promise no matter what size or shape you are, one of these would be so stunning on you! They are beautiful for wearing at home, or for use in a boudoir shoot.

 

PS – Thank you Natalie for taking my photos! You made me feel happy and beautiful, and most of all you made me laugh so much. 😘😜 Love you!

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29 comments

  1. I have a friend with a boudoir photography business, and I’ve always been super intrigued but nervous to ask about doing a shoot with her, but I think I may ask and see if I’d be able to! You’ve inspired me to do so!

  2. I love the idea of this and took some sexy pics of myself a few years ago for my husband’s birthday. Most of them were my face and boobs peeking out of a corset but I loved them. I was so proud of those photos. Every woman should do it.

  3. Thank you Ashley! This post is your empowering, I often let myself believe all those crude and rude words I say to myself.
    I appreciate you sharing your experience with us and you’ve inspired me to do a sexy photoshoot, I’m a henna artist so it’ll probably involve some intricate sexy body henna!
    Sending you a big hug and thanks for inspiring me! You’re a big positive influence in my life and I’m so happy to have discovered your blog (through Mehndika Joey Henna)
    Love!

    1. Hi Danila! Aww I just love Joey; I am happy you found the blog through her! So yes, I think a sexy henna shoot would be AMAZING! I think henna I so beautiful. I can only imagine how stunning this shoot will be.

  4. Love this post!! You’re so real and so inspiring! Thank you for writing this, I can see this helping allot of women out there!!

  5. I’ve ALWAYS wanted to do this but never had the courage to even pursue it. But after reading your article I have to schedule a session….. I’ll just have to bring sexy back for a little bit❤❤
    After having 3 boys I have gone through the body insecurities but were all beautiful😍 Thanks for the inspiration Ashley 👐😁

  6. I love your post and I love seeing all your stuff I do miss you on snap chat you were my favorite one to see every day and Lilly ….. you have always been sooo pretty even in school just georgous …and even more beautiful now …and I agree with you on a lot having a baby changes not only your body but you mentally

  7. 😍😍 I love the robe suggestions collection you included at the bottom! They’re stunning!

    Love the photos you included too you look great 😄

  8. I LOVE my post baby body, like never before. Now, I have grown a beautiful baby. Now, I feed him every day. Now, I prioritize his well being before my own. Sure, I could do more to try and get my old body back… but things have changed. I have changed and I’m happy about it. I love seeing other women embrace the beauty and sheer awesomeness that is their post baby body!!

  9. I love that your focus is for ourselves. I shaved my head a year ago. Just because i wanted to. For me. And it was fucking amazing. So liberating and really allowed me to feel grounded in myself. I’ve never done a boudoir shoot, but i imagine It having a similar effect. I’ll have to try It out next time I’m feeling insecure or like i need a kick of inspiration in my life. Thank you for this post!

  10. I’ve always wanted to do one of these shoots, but there are a lot of things that held me back.. the biggest thing being how flat chested I am and that really takes a toll on my confidence. If I’m trying to be sexy with myself it’s hard because I don’t fill out lingerie as much and it doesn’t look the way I want. Thank you for this post. It’s helped me come to terms with things and I think I might try one of these. Thanks for being so encouraging. 😊

  11. Kid you not, I was thinking of this just the other day. I even started looking into local photographers! I might need a little more encouragement, but I love the idea of doing this for myself. I’ve been waiting far too long for the perfect time. Thanks for your post. It’s so inspiring to see you do this for yourself.

  12. Thank you so much for this post! Being 3.5 months postpartum, I’m still getting used to my new Mom-bod and some days the insecurities really get to me. I’ve often struggled with my body image, but honestly becoming a mom was the best thing because I now realize how truly incredible our bodies are, I mean, I created a human with this body! So cool! So for now I embrace my body changes and continue cherishing moments with my baby! 🙂💗

  13. Thank you for your inspiring post! It is so empowering to see women lifting women up. That post was real and raw…we need more people like you!

  14. I’ve struggled with body image, self confidence, negative thoughts of myself, etc since having kids and dealing with a cheating husband. After following you the last year, and seeing how much you’ve changed and grown in your posts (hello confidence!) I decided that this year is going to be all about ME. My birthday is in a few weeks and this just seems like the best gift I could ever give myself
    XOXO!

  15. Ashley, thank you so much for this post! this is such a booster for me. I’ve always wanted to do a boudoir photoshoot but have always found excuses because I’ve never truly loved my body. after reading your posts and comments, I’m getting more confident as I see I’m not all alone on this “love-yourself” journey. thanks again ❤️

  16. Loving your shots! They look so great and omg those shoes! I agree with you, everyone should do this, I’ve done a few in the past and you do get a little bit of any extra sway to your walk afterwards!😉🖤

  17. Omg I loved everything about this post! I’ve never done a shoot like this but I think it’s so important, as women, to feel comfortable and confident in our skin!

    PS. I LOVE your hair color. You totally rock it.

  18. I love this! I think every woman should at least once, schedule a photo shoot just for herself. It’s amazing how much it can change you, make you feel beautiful, worth it, special, and just beyond happy! Thank you for sharing this!

  19. I absolutely love this post, I am so excited to see how women are becoming more and more empowered. I’m so happy to be able to do things, such as a photo shoot like this, because it makes me happy. Not because someone else wants you to, and without worrying about what anyone else thinks. This is awesome. 💕

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