I am so humbled and overwhelmed by the emotions and response to my divorce post earlier this month.

Your words and comments made me realize just how connected we all are. Whenever we feel alone, it is important to remember that there are many people going through the same thing we are at that very moment – there are always people to talk to.

The great thing about the internet, is that we can connect with so many people at any given time. Just because we are not speaking face-to-face doesn’t mean we cannot have a true connection.

I am so grateful for this community. Some of you I know, and others I do not know personally. For those of you who live far away and I have never met, I feel like I had the opportunity to get to know a piece of you through your beautiful comments and your support.

Thank you.

As I was reading comments and emails, I realized that at some point in our lives we all tend to go through a dark area.  We lose ourselves temporarily and life just falls apart … some go through it longer than others.

For some of us, we lose ourselves after a breakup.

Some of us lose ourselves after the children grow up, after losing a job, or while struggling with health issues.

Things seem all “sunshine and flowers” until you start to realize you’re an adult, and you’re like “Hey, maybe I don’t have all this figured out.”

I feel like we don’t even realize we are missing apart of ourselves until it is already so far gone.

For me, after my divorce, even though the situation was my choice, it seemed like the best parts of my life had left me, and these were not tangible things … these were feelings and a spark that I needed to reignite again.

It was hard to pin point exactly what was missing.  I’m not sure I’ve found all of it, but I’m getting there, and for most of my days my spark is back, and that feels nice.

The truth is that we can all get back to that place if we try, but it takes conscious effort.  Happiness is within your reach baby doll.

Start with these few things:

Stop dwelling on all the negative.

The saying is true; like attracts like.

When you are down in the dumps, I know that it can be very frustrating to hear it when someone that’s “happy” tells you to be positive.  

Come on, really? What do they know about what I’m going through?!

When you are feeling grouchy, irritable, sad, or bored, it’s easy to feel that every day is monotonous and that nothing around you is improving.

The truth is the ups and downs are a part of life.

If you never have any low moments, you cannot truly appreciate the good times.  With that being said, it is still necessary to pull yourself out of your funk and begin to bring positivity into your life.  One way that I do this is by mediation (or manifesting).

Try this simple manifestation meditation each morning:

 1.  Close your eyes.  For 5 minutes, think of everything you are grateful for.  Say these things to yourself; be specific! I start with the beautiful things surrounding me then I move toward my friends and family and career. Here are some examples I say each morning:

“I am so grateful for my cozy bed.  I am so grateful for my warm home.  I am thankful for my pretty house that I love. I am so grateful for my loving family who calls to check on me daily.  I am beyond blessed for having the greatest friends.  I am grateful for the skill I have of hairstyling.  I am  thankful for my health and my body.

2.  For 5 minutes, give thanks for the things in your life that you will (or want to) have!  (This is called manifesting).  This is where you get to be really creative and begin to create your own reality! Here are some of my daily manifestations:

“I am so happy that I feel energetic every morning!  I love my backyard with the koi fish pond!  I am thrilled that my blog is growing and I am able to reach more people with health and happiness. I am thankful for my abundance of salon clients! I love the cute little beach house that I have next door to my family!”

3.  For 5 minutes, close your eyes and just breathe.  Take deep slow breaths and try to block out all other thoughts.  To keep my mind focused on only breathing, I say one word over and over again with each inhalation.  Simply use the word, Love or Breathe with each inhale.  Five minutes and you’re finished! 🙂

I promise that you will start to see major improvements (some may say miracles!) in your life when you start meditating and manifesting, aka attracting positivity!

Do One Thing For You Each and Every Day

We often find ourselves becoming so busy and preoccupied with our daily tasks that we forget to look after ourselves.

I have to constantly remind myself that I am doing the best I can and I focus on being gentle with myself.

My daily ritual is making hot tea.  I started making tea (almost) every day about two years ago.  Even if I don’t have the opportunity to do anything else for myself throughout the day, my tea time makes me smile.  I look forward to my few moments of quiet time and trying my new type of tea.  It turns out that I have a new love for Oolong tea (it’s soooo delish) and a new hobby! I look forward to learning about all different types of tea from other countries and when I go to different cities I pick one new tea to try.

You will be amazed at how a little self-lovin each day will awaken your spirit.

Surround yourself with inspiring friends.

It’s pretty hard to stay energetic if you have a shabby group of friends around you (sorry, not sorry). If your friends are what I like to call “unsavory,” its time to find a new group of pals.

Choose friends who are talented, friends who have goals, and ones that make positive choices. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with…  Think about that a moment and let that soak in.

I challenge you to reflect on your friendships and seek out the most positive, happy people in your community.  Spend time with people who have interesting hobbies, big dreams, and share lots of smiles.

Treat your body with respect.

Eat consciously. Tell yourself that you’re beautiful.

Think about your food choices in a practical and conscious manner.  Any guilt about food, shame about your body, or judgment about health are considered stressors by the brain and are immediately transduced into toxic electrochemical equivalents in the body.

Is it healthy to eat candy everyday?  No.

Is it healthy to eat meat three times a day? No. (We eat more meat daily than lions and tigers, and that’s just plain weird!)

Is it healthy to only drink juice all day?  No.

I am not here preaching to you to go vegan, but I promise that adding more vegetables to your diet will help you far beyond just the physical self. When you begin to put healthy foods in your body you automatically create harmony and love within yourself. When you take the time to care about what you eat, you will simultaneously start caring about the other aspects of your life.

Things will start to matter.  YOU will matter.  Isn’t it time to give a shit?

Yes…yes it is!

Wake up my loves! Love yourself! This is the YEAR OF YOU! 

Here are a couple more articles to self-help yourself out of a funk! 🙂

How to Turn Your Life Around

Pictures Showing How to Turn Your Life Around




  1. Hi Ashley

    Just wanted to say thank you for writing this. I’m going through a break up and your writing really helps me in the process and also, I love you’re whole universe, your writing, your style, your hair???

    1. Hi Lina! Thank you so much. I am sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time. It will get better, even if it doesn’t seem like it right now. Wishing you bliss and happiness! Thank you for being so kind.


  2. Hi Ashley!
    I just wanted to thank you for doing what you do because this post has inspired me to be a better version of myself. I went on a year abroad last tear and it was very hard for me because I was not just alone but also lonely. I still think about it and blame myself for some decisions I made and I regret certain things and it is very hard for me to cope when my mind goes to that dark place. I hope to be able to find my spark again like you did, and thank you so much for being so real with us and helping us get inspired with your positivity!

    1. Hi Fabienne! I wish you continued success on your journey and I feel like you are doing a great job keeping your positivity up. Just stay strong and anytime you get down on yourself, remember what you goal is…to be happy! Happy thoughts make for a happy life. XOXO!

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